HYSTERIA LIBERATION

2008-02-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

Typhoid ! Come to mama..

Okay. So I contracted typhoid again for the second time. Why oh why oh why ?
It's not like i asked for it but there you go..some tropical climate illness just got the mood to swing by my intestines and decided to make it home sweet home. GREAT.

Now, I'm back again in my little room beside the fish pond and the scary old trees..typing away briefs and making video testimonial for my recently resigned creative grouphead, while having constant stomach cramps and severe dizziness. The possible scenario here is maybe...just maybee...the culprit that is typhoid still haunts my body ? YOUUU THINKKKKK....

-these are the ramblings of a delusional ad nerd who brought pink sleeping bag with matching plush rectangular pillow and having an illusion that she might have some nap time in the office..as said before..the ad nerd is delusional-

2006-09-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

King of the Miserables

Love stories are great
Love stories are true
Love stories lifts hearts
The ones not so blue....

Let Me Kiss You

There's a place in the sun for anyone
Who has the will
Chase one and I think I found mine
Yes I do believe I have found mine.
So, close your eyes
And think of someone you physically admire
And let me kiss you, oh.
Let me kiss you, oh.

I zigzagged all over America
And I cannot find
A safety haven
Say, would you let me cry on your shoulder
I've heard that you'd try anything twice

Close your eyes
And think of someone you physically admire
And let me kiss you, oh.
Let me kiss you, oh.

But then you open your eyes
And you see someone that you physically despise
But my heart is open
My heart is open to you

Another one by Morrissey......

2005-10-11T02:01:00.000-07:00

Perempuan itu merasa sendiri di tengah keramaian
"Dimanakah aku sekarang ?"
Semuanya sepi, hanya suara samar orang-orang tertawa
Bangun..ayo bangun..
Kembali lah kesini...
Saatnya membuat sebuah hati tersenyum..

Dengarkan saja syair penuh rasa.....

NYALA

percayalah, terang akan datang
di saat yang tak terduga
dan malaikat di atas bumi tersenyum lepas
kupercaya pada semua, saatnya akan tiba
dan pada waktunya, semua akan beterbangan
hembusan angin disana
dinginkan rasa kecewa
dimanakah kita akan berpijak?
dan terus melangkah ke depan
tanpa ada ingatan lama terbawa kembali

PS on a slow tuesday afternoon...

For the ever lovely Lydiette

2005-09-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

Rollercoaster Chair vs Comfy Sofa

Dalam rangka mengisi hari Minggu dengan kegiatan yang handal tapi nyantai *Saah*, gue dan partner in crime gue mutusin untuk pergi melihat-lihat pameran Ad Fest di sebuah gedung di daerah Palmerah. Pas banget mau masuk pameran, gue dipanggil sama seorang temen yang cukup lama gak bersua. Kebetulan banget nih..udah lama juga ga ketemu..nice surprise on a Sunday afternoon lahhh ceritanya...

Si Rambut Pendek Lucu : Hey Mennnn !!

Seorang saya : Ehhh gila lohhhh !! Pa kabar looooo *dengan nada excited*

Si Rambut Pendek Lucu : baekk aja gueee..wetss selamat ya bow masuk pinalis..mudah2an gol yaa, gue doain deh....
( red. pada saat ini lagi ikutan kompetisi yang bottom linenya karena banyak yang doain jadi berhasil menggondol kemenangan)

Seorang Saya : mau dong didoain..tengs ya *dengan muka berbinar*

Singkat cerita, gara gara seru ngomongin kompetisi ini, gue sama dia jadi terlibat pergosipan tentang seseorang yang pernah menclok di kehidupan gue.

Hampir seumur hidup gue, orang-orang terdekat yang notabene keluarga selalu bilang "kamu cuek banget jadi orang". Well...sebenernya sih bukan cuek, cuma rada kurang sensitif aja sama keadaan sekitar. Agak delusional mungkin. Gue bukannya pasrah sama keadaan diri yang kaya gini, sedikit demi sedikit perbaikan diri harus ada dong...dan katanya sih mulai keliatan tuh hasilnya *benerrrr ga sihhh niiiiiiii???*

Tapi untuk urusan percintaan, ga sensitif dengan keadaan ini masih jadi peliharaan dan kebiasaan. Sebagai sanguine sejati, penolakan untuk menjadi sedih, terpuruk atau "gloomy situations" lainnya selalu dihindarin, ini termasuk juga konflik. Kalo ga penting-penting amat, ga akan jadi masalah. Percintaan pun hampir tidak pernah diwarnai dengan berantem *akhirnya gue sadar ini fenomena aneh karena gue mahkluk cewek yang sebenernya dominan*
Dengan mantap bisa diclaim bahwa gue secure. Sebagai perempuan dan sebagai seorang manusia. Okeee...kadang rasa secure sebagai perempuan goyah juga sih..apalagi urusan fisik. Bedebah dikte media terhadap kecantikan ! Terlalu perduli ga juga sih, masuk dalam kategori GA PENTING.

Sialnya, rasa secure gue bites me fucking hard in the ass ! Semua bermula dari jaman yang kata temen gue Lydia adalah "dark ages". Di dalam masa ini, perasaan gue seperti di rollercoaster chair selama 24 jam sehari dan 7 hari dalam seminggu. Mengais-ngais perhatian, kalo dikasih dikit langsung tenang, semua jadi serba salah terus akhirnya nyalahin diri sendiri, semua keburukan langsung keliatan, tapi berusaha pake super power yang namanya PENGERTIAN SUPER, ngubur dan menahan diri untuk ga break down, tapi malemnya nangis bombay ,coba berpikir positif endeswei endeswei.........Capeknya tidak akan tertolong sama jamu seger jiwo atau semacem itu lah.

Merefleksi percintaan gue ini adalah seperti nonton film detektif terus nemuin clue clue yang tersembunyi. Apa bener gue bahagia ? Talking about the million dollar question huh ? Gue bahagia karena gue paksa diri gue buat bahagia dengan ilusi ilusi dan pengertian plus toleransi yang cukup super. Semua dengan dasar "don't do to others what you won't do to yourself". Cerminnya adalah diri gue sendiri.

I was not being myself. I was a fake me.

"Dulu lo waktu ketemu lo jaim deh Li!"
Iyalah jaim! Namanya juga tone down.

"Gue bingung deh..wawasan lo luas terus lo pinter, kalo ama dia ngomongin apaan aja ? Emang nyambung?"
Kebanyakan ga pernah ngomongin yang "deep" sih, paling yang ga meaning, becanda becanda, nyerempet ke yang rada butuh mikir langsung ga interest, kalo diskusi juga gue banyak menahan diri..biasalah ego cowok..lagian kalo mulai menjurus mau mempertanyakan...sikapnya lebih ke "eits...bagian kreatif teritori gue..tau apa sih lo? (This is the part where I should've with poise touch my hair back and said "Tau lah dikit......")

"Wetsss..situ anak PIM nih sekarang?"
Sebenernya ga mau sih cuma terpaksa gara-gara ga mau usaha terus cari yang deket rumah aja gitu. Kerja si bagian kreatif tapi urusan percintaan jangan harap..........

In the end, god's intervention came along and a dramatic end comes to our story of love and lies. The almighty opened up my eyes and my heart to the brutal truth and I was left there in the dark for what feels like ages.

The rollercoaster chair I was in has stopped. First, I'm tansported into a wet and dark hole down in the ground. Where the sun ray can't come in and there's only sound of sorrow. Then, I decided to leave the hole and to my relieve stepped my feet on solid ground again. As I walk through the quiet and grassy field, my delicate eyes caught something far away.

"What is that? It looks big and white, better check it out".
"I'll be damn! It's a sofa....a big, white, cushy one, the ones we see in cozy apartments brochures."
"I think I'll try it.....it look sooooo comfortable to the brink of temptation......"

The sofa is heavenly. It follows the contour of my body. I'll sit on it for hours, lay on it, falls asleep on it, jumpin' for joy on it, watch crap tv on it. It can make me stay for days and days. People has a thing for sofas, the favourite ones always brought along whenever a person move places. I have a thing with this sofa. It's more than just favourite, feels like I can stay on it forever. Imagine staying forever on a rollercoaster chair ? That will be nightmare don't you think?

2005-08-31T04:01:00.001-07:00

Cikembang, Pelabuhan Ratu.

The wave was great, falls into just the right kind of pattern, right and slowly closes out to left , temperature's hot...real hot, wind was playing music to my ears. The rather black sand feels smooth and hot, glimmers in the face of the sun. It took us quite a struggle to reach the "actual" place but it was worth it. Far in the background, the sloping sea hits the sand and waves breaks gracefully. Nice and clean with clear pattern. The only downside

is before it hits the sand, those waves hits lots of stones. Round and smooth,black and white. My feet was sore and blue, it bleeds a bit also ! Then again, I feel fine..really fine...it does not matter...I was on the beach, as far as my eyes can see there's only the sea. My sea.

2005-08-31T04:01:00.000-07:00

LIFE SOUNDTRACK OF THE WEEK

Tunes that latches on in your memory. Certain songs reminds you of something stupid and a bit naughty, some of them makes you mellow or sad, the other ones can make you jump up and down on your springy bed.
Bravery's "An Honest Mistake" always made me thought of The Smith. I bet you a million bucks they're inspired by Morrissey and those charming lads. In a twisted way, it brings back lots of memories from my college years. Yep....all those times when nothing really matters much except fighting your way through exams, papers, assignments. Not forgetting all the mad partying. All the beer drinking under the pinching hot sun ( it took me tons of treadmill hours to get rid off the beer belly!), porn + pizza + Mr. red hat tequila with the ever wild Doric Girls. I never regreted a single thing. Always cherished all single moments. Even to the tiny tidbits embarassing things. Hey...we're all lunatics in the making.

Down here are top ten tunes that rotates heavily in one of the dearest piece of metal and plastic to me, well...he's white and smooth and has a click wheel =)

Down In The Past - Mando Diao
Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters
An Honest Mistake - The Bravery
Cool - Gwen Stefani
You Don't Miss Your Water 'Til The Well Runs Dry - Craig David
Krafty - New Order
Change In The House of Flies - Deftones
Just One Kiss - Basement Jaxx
Digging Your Scene - Ivy
Love in December - Club 8